Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths- And How We Can Stop! Read online

  Praise for Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths—And How We

  Can Stop!

  “Bill Eddy’s newest book is a must-read for every citizen. The book offers a

  fresh, intellectually invigorating perspective on the endless political polariza-

  tion and rapid rise of authoritarian leadership in America. Grounded in his

  concept of the high-conflict person (HCP), Eddy exquisitely expands our un-

  derstanding of the dynamics of divided politics. He presents a well-researched

  historical view of how leaders (from both left and right) with authoritarian,

  high-conflict personalities have emerged as dictators in numerous countries

  worldwide. Eddy details a prescriptive, strategic action formula for preventing

  the predictable destructive outcomes of authoritarian leaders. This book will

  alarm you, inform you, and shake up your perspective—propelling you to take

  action—but only reasonable and effective action!”

  —Donald T. Saposnek, PhD, author of Mediating Child Custody Disputes and

  coauthor of Splitting America

  “Understanding why people follow and support leaders with behaviours that

  are extreme and unwarranted is the topic of Bill Eddy’s new book, Why We

  Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths—And How We Can Stop! In this fascinating

  work, the tumultuous and horrific impact of such leaders, how such individu-

  als are shaped, and why they are supported are considered in the context of

  high-conflict personality and behaviours. Fundamentally, the book invites us

  to consider the role of ‘Wannabe Kings’ who have managed, often despite be-

  ing considered incompetent or controllable, to be elevated to high positions

  and cause havoc. Importantly however, this book gives the readers, and those

  grappling with ‘Wannabe Kings,’ tools to prevent their ascension and to moder-

  ate the discourse that surrounds their grim reign. From the workplace to the

  political space, the book will inspire us to think differently about the tactics,

  behaviours, and personalities of some so-called leaders and revisit our ap-

  proach to remake our future.”

  —Professor Tania Sourdin, Dean and Head of School, Newcastle Law School

  “Thank you for this book. I wish I’d had it at the beginning of last year when

  I was running for Congress! A huge value of this book to me is to be better

  able to understand people trying to tear down our democracy. I learned several

  ways where I might have better persuaded erstwhile friends of mine to look

  objectively at candidates rather than following slogans.”

  —Chuck Eddy, moderate Republican candidate, 2018 primary for Kentucky’s 6th

  Congressional District

  “Personality disorders are dangerously important today, and it’s vital we under-

  stand this better. We need this book.”

  —Marjorie Kelly, author of The Divine Right of Capital and Owning Our Future and Executive Vice President, Democracy Collaborative

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  “Author Bill Eddy has done a remarkable job of assessing the world of modern

  politics and those who have learned how to use their power to manipulate to-

  day’s communication tools to influence unsuspecting voters. It is a brave new

  world. Bill has competently described the characteristics of many individuals

  who have no business in positions of power or authority but they are because

  they have learned how to work the system, to the detriment of the community,

  for their own personal advantage—a sinister scheme that plays out every day.

  Bill makes no distinction between partisan politicians, as his observations ap-

  ply to many of those who seek power. As a long-standing member of the Re-

  publican Party and the chairman of the committee to recall the former mayor

  of San Diego, Bob Filner, I recognize that all of Filner’s faults and failures can

  be directly attributed to the caustic characteristics so eloquently described by

  Bill. This book is a must-read for anyone interested in seeing how sausage is

  really made.”

  —Michael J. Pallamary, PLS

  “The younger generations inherit an increasingly interconnected world, one with

  global problems that require international solutions. With such powerful world-

  altering positions being compromised, it is of great importance to know the

  warning signs and the proper response—else history will continue to repeat

  itself. In discussing top-ranking politicians that cause harm and controversy,

  Bill Eddy brings his expertise of psychology and advances a developing theory

  of high-conflict personalities.”

  —Crosby Doyle, recent graduate in political science and sustainability systems

  “As a former judge and elected district attorney, I have dealt with several high-

  conflict politicians and elected officials with the characteristics that Bill Eddy

  describes in this book. He’s right on when he says they create unnecessary

  crises and conflicts and see themselves as big heroes instead of doing their real

  jobs. His suggestions for what to do make a lot of sense for reasonable politi-

  cians as well as voters. This is a must-read for anyone running for or thinking

  of running for election and even more important for those trying to govern.”

  —Bonnie Dumanis, former judge and recently retired longtime San Diego County

  District Attorney

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  “Author Bill Eddy has done a remarkable job of assessing the world of modern

  politics and those who have learned how to use their power to manipulate to-

  day’s communication tools to influence unsuspecting voters. It is a brave new

  world. Bill has competently described the characteristics of many individuals

  who have no business in positions of power or authority but they are because

  they have learned how to work the system, to the detriment of the community,

  for their own personal advantage—a sinister scheme that plays out every day.

  Bill makes no distinction between partisan politicians, as his observations ap-

  ply to many of those who seek power. As a long-standing member of the Re-

  publican Party and the chairman of the committee to recall the former mayor

  WHY WE ELECT

  of San Diego, Bob Filner, I recognize that all of Filner’s faults and failures can

  be directly attributed to the caustic characteristics so eloquently described by

  Bill. This book is a must-read for anyone interested in seeing how sausage is

  really made.”

  NARCISSISTS

  —Michael J. Pallamary, PLS

  AN

  “The younger generations inherit an increasingly interconnected world, one with

  D

  global problems that require international solutions. With such powerful world-

  SOCIOPATHS

  altering positions being compromised, it is of great importance to know the

  warning signs and the proper response—else history will
continue to repeat

  AND HOW WE CAN STOP!

  itself. In discussing top-ranking politicians that cause harm and controversy,

  Bill Eddy brings his expertise of psychology and advances a developing theory

  of high-conflict personalities.”

  —Crosby Doyle, recent graduate in political science and sustainability systems

  “As a former judge and elected district attorney, I have dealt with several high-

  conflict politicians and elected officials with the characteristics that Bill Eddy

  describes in this book. He’s right on when he says they create unnecessary

  crises and conflicts and see themselves as big heroes instead of doing their real

  jobs. His suggestions for what to do make a lot of sense for reasonable politi-

  cians as well as voters. This is a must-read for anyone running for or thinking

  of running for election and even more important for those trying to govern.”

  —Bonnie Dumanis, former judge and recently retired longtime San Diego County

  District Attorney

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  Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 4

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  WHY WE ELECT

  NARCISSISTS

  AND SOCIOPATHS

  AND HOW WE CAN STOP!

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  Berrett–Koehler Publishers, Inc.

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  version 5, 18Sep14

  Why We Elect Narcissists and Sociopaths—And How We

  Can Stop!

  Copyright © 2019 by Bill Eddy

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or

  transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other

  electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher,

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  First Edition

  Hardcover print edition ISBN 978-1-5230-8527-9

  PDF e-book ISBN 978-1-5230-8528-6

  IDPF e-book ISBN 978-1-5230-8529-3

  Digital audio ISBN 978-1-5230-8531-6

  2019-1

  Book producer and text designer: Maureen Forys, Happenstance Type-O-Rama

  Cover designer: Ian Koviak, The BookDesigners

  To young voters

  everywhere:

  May you avoid the

  mistakes of your elders.

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  Eddy_WhyWeElect.indd 8

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  CONTENTS

  PREFACE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi

  PART I: How Narcissists and Sociopaths Get Elected 1

  1: High- Conflict Politicians . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3

  2: High-Conflict Emotional Warfare . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

  3: The 4-Way Voter Split . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

  4: High- Emotion Media . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37

  5: The Fantasy Crisis Triad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

  PART II: The Fantasy Crisis Triad Worldwide 59

  6: How Hitler, Stalin, and Mao Took Over . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

  7: Around the World Today: Russia, Hungary, the

  Philippines, Venezuela, and Italy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77

  8: Here at Home: From McCarthy to Nixon to Trump

  to ___________? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

  9: 10 Common Mistakes with High- Conflict Politicians . . . . . . . . . 117

  PART III: How to Stop High- Conflict Politicians 125

  10: It’s All about Relationships . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

  11: Screen Out Narcissists and Sociopaths . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139

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  x Contents

  12: Expose Their Fantasy Crisis Triads . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149

  13: Be as Assertive as HCPs Are Aggressive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157

  14: Manage the Media and Fake News . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163

  CONCLUSION: Maintaining Our Immunity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167

  APPENDIX A: 40 Predictable Behaviors of HCPs . . . . . . . . . . . . . 169

  APPENDIX B: High- Conflict Politician Scorecard . . . . . . . . . . . . 173

  APPENDIX C: Blank 4-Way Voter Split Diagram . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175

  APPENDIX D: Fantasy Crisis Triads—Examples Worldwide . . . . . . 177

  NOTES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193

  INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205

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  PREFACE

  I learned about personality disorders, including narcissists and sociopaths, />
  in 1980 while training to be a child and family counselor. It was an eye-

  opener. I didn’t realize then that I would be teaching this information in

  regard to leadership and heads of state almost forty years later.

  Understanding these disorders helped me deal with the most difficult

  clients I had, as well as a few people in my personal life. These people could

  seem reasonable and even charming on the surface, but they repeatedly got

  into conflicts with those around them that they expected me to solve. They

  didn’t reflect on their parts in the problems and never changed their behav-

  iors—even when they were the primary causes of the conflicts.

  After a dozen years as a therapist, I decided to change professions to focus

  on conflict resolution and became a lawyer in 1992. I quickly realized that

  personality disorders were driving a lot of legal disputes, too—and in a bad

  direction. These disorders were not understood or even recognized by most

  legal professionals. Clients with such disorders had disputes that wouldn’t

  settle; then their problems would grow and they would keep coming back to

  court. The uninformed professionals often made things worse.

  I tried to explain to them that many people with personality disorders

  are stuck in a habit of blaming others, that they are always adversarial in

  their thinking, and that they often have unrestrained aggressive behavior.

  They need more limits, not more opportunities to blame others.

  But lawyers said, “What are personality disorders? Forget about it, Bill.

  You’re just saying that to win your case.” Judges said, “I fail to see the rele-

  vance of this to legal disputes.” Mental health professionals said, “Don’t talk

  about those disorders in court. They will stigmatize people with personality

  disorders.” These professionals didn’t get it.

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  xii Preface

  I found that I couldn’t explain what was happening in five or ten minutes,

  so I eventually wrote a book about it that I completed in 2003. I couldn’t find

  a publisher because they said there was no market for it, that no one would

  be interested in this subject. At the time, a friend who was learning how to set

  up websites made one for me. With the aid of this website, I was able to self-